The wedding bells have rung, Now what!? Here is Sarah, from the iFamily Mom Squad, with her Newlyweds Guide to the First Few Years! Take a look…
A Newlyweds Guide to the First Few Years…
Summer is almost over and it seems that most of the summer was spent at weddings, wedding showers or engagement parties! This got me to thinking that all you newlyweds out there may need some advice from someone who has been there!
Seems like the most amazing moment in your life doesn’t it? You have walked down the aisle, you had the most expensive cake that you will ever eat and shuddered as some just ate the icing and threw the rest away. You opened all the presents, the thank-you cards are addressed and sent.
You are sitting on the couch with this person with whom you had it all figured out just a few weeks ago and bam! You don’t know what to do now! It’s called the coming down; suddenly your single friends are a little more hesitant to hang out with you. Your married friends are so happy for you both and “let’s do dinner” or “movie night at our house” seems to be the norm. Plus they just announced that they are pregnant! Which really means in bed by 9 and it really isn’t the same when you host a “mock”tail party. A caveat; I am no expert. My only expertise is that I was a newlywed once and maybe picked up a few things along the way. And maybe this will sound nothing like you and your spouse and that’s fine too. Still, read it for just the humor and the fact that you can laugh at all the poor souls that are going through this while you are out at the new club opening with your husband in tow!
…you were just dating and the question at every family holiday was “when are you getting engaged!” “You know, you aren’t getting any younger! What are you waiting for?!” You could laugh them off and look into your spouse’s eyes and laugh as you are pinning wedding ring designs to your secret Pinterest board. Well now comes the question; “When are you guys going to have a baby!?” “You know, you aren’t getting any younger! What are you waiting for?!” Here is your first tip: DON’T RUSH THINGS. I know you aren’t getting any younger, I know that your biological clock is no longer ticking, it is now banging so loud in your head that you can’t sleep at night. Just like you did before; laugh it off. Spend time with you and your spouse, if babies are in your future, you will NEVER get this opportunity again so enjoy it. Travel to places that you have never been, redecorate the house together, go see an afternoon movie—just go see a movie! And if that biological gong is still going off, get a dog, a puppy if possible. One sleepless night of taking the whining puppy out every two hours will shatter that thing within a day.
Some little elves on a break from the North Pole came down and rebuilt that biological clock (gong)? Talk about it; make sure you are all on the same page. And then talk about it with a close friend, preferably one that has already had a baby. Let them tell you how it was for them and what to expect. I would bet you a jar of pickles and a tub of ice cream that you don’t know everything about it! And then you can start trying to have a baby.
Here’s your second tip:
DON’T RUSH IT! I am the biggest control freak, I just knew that I could plan everything out: when I would get pregnant, which would lead to when I had the baby (not in July—too many holidays and birthdays) which would mean that I would need baby showers in February and May taking the most pictures at the one in February because you are still in the “glow” and not so much in the “I am ready for this child to come out of me—somehow—I don’t care how!” phase (Every woman gets there, don’t even try to tell me you don’t!) But you know what all that planning does? It makes for a really rough time when that timeline doesn’t work out. Even worse when it doesn’t happen in two months, in 8 months, in a year. You feel worthless, like you have no idea what you are doing and how to fix it. What if there is something wrong? What if I am not making the right decision? You know why that happens? Because this is exactly what motherhood is like! Get used to it kiddo—this is your life for a really long time! It will happen and if it doesn’t there are plenty of other options to make sure that your little family is complete. They just may not be as you planned it.
The world works in mysterious ways…
It takes all kinds of kinds to make it spin round. All along the first years of marriage be thankful for what you have. Once the pitter patter, by the way whoever said that never had kids, I have never known my children to pitter patter at anything! It used to be that silence was golden to me, now silence means that there is a jar of finger nail polish all over the little sister and the dog and the walls. Anyway, when little ones come it is going to be harder for you to remember to be thankful—not that you aren’t, just you will be busy trying to do everything else.